Vows. Some couples can't wait to write their own and others are counting down the moments until that part of the day is over! I am here to make this easy, so I do have vow examples, ideas and even some that are "ready to go" for those who wish to pick from some pre-written vows (A LOT of couples do this!) If you are planning to write your own, keep reading for a few tricks and tips.
So where do you start?
Having a listen at your friends weddings is a great idea! See what they do and what you like about it or what you might change. The more weddings you get to attend, the more you can get a real feel for what you love in others vows.
Haven't been to any weddings? That's ok!
Vows are promises you are making to each other, coated in things you love about your partner. It isn't meant to be hard, it is meant to be true. Try to include things that don't age, that are unique to your relationship and that will make your partner smile.
Have a note pad of ideas. What did you partner do today that made you laugh or appreciate them? Jot it down and when you come to sitting down and writing your vows you have some places to start.
Set a word limit! I love this one. It makes it feel achievable - that you both are on the same page with length and that it will flow nicely together. Some people like to write a bit more like a story or like an essay with a beginning, middle and consulsion to tie it all together again.
Now I would be lying if I said everyone writes from the heart. No, people use templates and google to get started. I love this and my personal opinion is to get amgunst it! As long as what you write down for your day is your own spin on what you have found online and you truely believe the promises and comments you are making - I say go for it!
That being said, please do not COMPLETELY plagiarise the wedding scene from your fave rom-com or Greys Anatomy. Someone will notice and it isn't really telling your partner why you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you steal it from Dr. Grey...
"[We vow] to love each other, even when we hate each other. No running, ever. Nobody walks out, no matter what happens. We'll take care of each other even when we're old and smelly and senile. This is forever." -Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard
^^^ I mean I don't hate it, but we can do better. Did you know they are on the 18th season? That is WILD.
I get all my couples to send me their vows prior to the ceremony. I print them and bring them with me so they don't have to worry. Also, that way I can give advice (never had to) incase one person has written a whole essay and the other has about 10 words. If they want it like that, then sure! I just need everyone on the same page so there are no *unwanted* surprises come wedding day.
If in doubt or feeling very stuck, write five things you love about your partner and five promises to them. This might be your starting point to add some extra fluff, or you might be happy with this just as it is. That is completely up to you!
Communication with your partner and celebrant about how you want to your vows is important! You want your whole day to reflect you as a couple and not feel forced.
Somewhere included in either your vows or elsewhere in the ceremony needs to be the legal line which is said by each person:
"I Hermione Jean Granger, take you, Ronald Billus Weasley to be my husband" or wife/partner. Obviously using both your full names ;)
Once you have written them, do have a wee practice saying them aloud. This can be quite different to reading things on paper, so do it a few times. If you have done a bit a practice leading up to the wedding, you might feel that little bit of confidence on the big day to look up from your page and into your future husband/wife eyes. When it comes down to it, this is why your are getting married! You have found someone who loves all of you, you love all of them! Take a wee peak up from the page on the day, I promise you wont regret it!
If you need any more ideas or to read some examples, let me know!
Good luck with the writing & do sing out if you want a hand.
Kelsie x
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